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How can we get the most out of life?

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“I'm confused. I am constantly running somewhere ... but more often I think that this is not the work ... not the relationships ... I really want" - I often hear such words at the beginning of our work from people who have decided to explore their life scenario. Being inside the problem, personal or work-related, being under constant time pressure, it is difficult to solve the problem. As Albert Einstein put it, " you can’t solve the problem with the thinking that generated the problem in the first place."

I will give a very personal example. Many years ago, after a series of unsuccessful relationships, one of my wise professional acquaintances, with whom I decided to discuss the situation, shared an interesting observation with me. "You talk about men as if they are medicines you are treating yourself with," he remarked.

Cold shower. A curtain. All my friend has done – he named my way of thinking. As I started to imagine what it must be like to be assigned a role of a medicine, I began to realize the reasons for my past failures in relationships. Gradually I began to form a new pattern of behaviour.

And although my solution-focused husband, with whom I recently shared that long-standing conversation, grilled me trying to find out “what I had been treating myself against” with those medicines 😉– that is not really what the story is about. It is rather an example of the importance and power of a dialogue with a person who is ready to listen, without judgment, and draw your attention to how you talk about and make meaning of your own story, whether that story is to do with your personal relationships, career, vocation or upbringing of children. Becoming aware how our way of thinking and our meaning-making processes look from the outside is like a breath of fresh air ….. and is fundamental to starting to change your life story. 

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